Get Happy, Be Happy, Stay Happy

I read a lot of books that tell you how to create a successful life. Many are written from the author’s point of view. Their success recipe works great for them and it will work for you too, they claim. Simply follow their formula and success is virtually guaranteed!

Those authors drive me nuts. The reality is, unless you have the same strengths (and a host of other things) as the author, following their formula won’t lead to success. Some readers will blame themselves for not having what it takes. Some will give up in anger or frustration. Some will finally figure out that they need to design a life based on their own unique strengths.

Success strategist Philip Humbert addresses this point in this week’s TIPS e-newsletter.

Foolish Impulse or Tragic Hesitation?

The English language is full of cliches, but few are more confusing than the conflict between “Fools rush in” and “Those who hesitate are lost.” How do we balance the “need for speed” with the advice to “look before you leap?”

We all know the necessity for planning and preparation. We know that success requires a strong foundation, careful thought, and precision. But, we are also advised to “strike while the iron is hot” and that “the early bird gets the worm.” What’s a person to do?

This confusion first struck me when I read biographies of Roald Amundsen and Robert Scott, the first two men to reach the South Pole. Amundsen was the more impulsive of the two. He landed on the shelf ice, unloaded his gear and took off. He got to the pole first, and he returned to tell the tale.

Robert Scott was far more organized, and he had better equipment. When he landed on the ice, he prepared carefully for the enormous challenge ahead. He was the better scientist and he, too, got to the South Pole. But he got there second and, because of his delay the Antarctic winter began before he got back. After weeks of bitter and heroic struggle, he and his men died just eleven miles short of base camp and safety.

I was reminded of that this week while reading Edmund Morris’ biography of young Theodore Roosevelt. When he was 25, after his wife died in childbirth, Roosevelt made his first trip to the “Bad Lands.” When his guide backed out, he plunged ahead with no idea what to expect. He was unprepared and might have died, but instead found a rugged wilderness that restored his health and in many ways created the man who later became president. Who could have guessed?

So how do we balance the “need for speed” with the advice to “look before you leap?”

First, understand and honor your unique personality. Some of us are “planners.” For them plans, research and a methodical approach are required. Impulsive action makes them nervous, and that’s fine! But others are built for speed. They see opportunity and feel they must act quickly. That’s fine, too! As Shakespeare advised, “First, know thyself and to thine own self be true.” Design your life so that it (mostly) brings you the type of opportunities and situations you prefer.

Second, understand the limitations of your preferences. Some of us eagerly jump in, while others are planners, and both are good but each has its limitations.

Some things in life must be grasped instantly or they are gone forever. Sometimes, if “you snooze, you lose!” and if you are a planner, some opportunities won’t fit your natural inclinations. Design your life so that, as often as possible, you have time you need for thoughtful, careful consideration.

Others prefer the drama and excitement of speed. If that’s your preference, design systems that create multiple opportunities where you can “grab and go.” But, be aware of the downside risk. Some impulses, like driving too quickly on a dark and slippery road, can end in tragedy.

Finally, learn the fine art of flexibility. Few of us are so extreme in one direction or the other that we can’t make exceptions when called for. Learn to analyze the true nature of the situation, and respond accordingly. Even if you strongly prefer careful planning, know that some situations call for immediate action and that’s alright! Go for it! It’s good practice and might, like Roosevelt’s ride into the Badlands, lead to amazing results. Other situations require detailed preparation and no matter how much you want to act quickly, caution is advised. Winners recognize the difference and respond appropriately.

The key to success is using your personal preferences to your advantage. Design a life that builds on your strengths.

Copyright 2008. All rights reserved. Philip Humbert.

Contact him at www.philiphumbert.com or Coach@philiphumbert.com. Sign up for his free TIPS e-newsletter.

The Kolbe Index will help you discover your innate action mode. It will tell you, for example, if you’re naturally wired to gather the facts first, or if you’re the type to jump in feet first.

The Kolbe Index discerns your distinctive pattern of action in four areas: Fact Finding, Follow Through, Quick Start, and Implementation. You can take the test here for $49.95. This is money well spent if you suspect that you’re operating against your grain but don’t understand how. Clues that you’re not living or working using your natural action mode include frustration, fast depletion of energy and lack of ease or flow. Stress.

I’m a Fact-Finder/Quick Start. Whether I like it or not (or whether a particular book author likes it or not), I will naturally insist on researching and gathering facts. If someone tries to push me into a decision before I have the facts, they’ll be met with resistance. However, once I have the facts, I can move quickly. There are times that I want to jump in before knowing the facts, but it feels stressful. My Fact-Finder instinct will always be stronger.

Everyone has a natural action mode. A way of “doing” that is instinctive. And, according to Kathy Kolbe, your patterns of action are measurable. I’ve talked about the Kolbe A Index a couple of times on my blog. This week CNN.com posted a 2006 article from Oprah.com about the Kolbe Indexes. Martha Beck wrote the article based on her own experience with the assessment. Once you get past the cutesy intro about likening yourself to an otter, mole, squirrel or mouse, you’ll find some interesting stuff.

I’m a Fact Finder/Quick Start, which has a primary mode called Manager. This assessment really did shed light on the way I will naturally do things when left to my own devices. It also illuminated one of my main strengths — the ability to take in a ton of information (Fact Finder), combined with the ability to act quickly on information (Quick Start), and easily switch gears based on new information. This action style drives my husband crazy, but at least now we know why!

Addition 01-11-08

I found this article, Go With Your Gut Instincts, written by a doctor — and a fellow Fact Finder/Quick Start I love this stuff!

I’m up to one of my old tricks. I have a project that is about to go into the stage where I’ll be required to do a lot of things outside my comfort zone. I don’t know if the project will be worth the time and effort, so it’s hard to push through this stage.

When the going gets tough, the tough go blogging! (I don’t like to shop.)

What a great way to kill an hour, or two hours — shoot, sometimes an entire day.

Why do we procrastinate? It’s a way to avoid something unpleasant — usually emotions that are uncomfortable.

This About.com article asks, which style of procrastination fits you?

1. Organizing thoughts and actions and keeping on track with plans is difficult. (People with ADD/ADHD may fall into this category.)
2. Tasks seem overwhelming so it’s futile to even try.
3. Hostile feelings towards someone cause you to want to punish them by putting things off.
4. Routine and schedule causes you to feel rebellious.
5. You fear disapproval.

I’m hitting 4 out of 5. No wonder I’m sitting here blogging.

Tips for beating procrastination include managing your time, breaking up large projects into smaller tasks, pushing through and doing it now, scheduling reward time (and rewards like chocolate?), anxiety-busting exercises, and changing defeatist thinking.

Ya know what? All this reminds me to check in with my “will do” and “won’t do” profile (Kolbe A Index). What if I’m simply attempting to act against my natural grain? I’m a great researcher and problem solver, very flexible, and highly imaginative. My Kolbe report says that I have a knack for:

• seeing solutions in my mind
• visualizing possibilities
• conceptualizing what could be
• having discussions without having to be face-to-face
• making decisions without having tangible evidence

Ah hah. I think I know what’s causing me to hold back. I can see my project so clearly in my mind and know it’s a fantastic solution to a problem. My challenge, however, is getting others to see it. In fact, there’s a key person who needs to see the light in order for this thing to fly — and my experience so far with this person doesn’t give me much hope. So, perhaps I’m dealing with feelings of futility. Which I don’t have to give into, right?

If there’s a will there’s a way…

Chocolate? No, but I don’t blame you for thinking it is. Sugar? No. Mohitos? No. Exercise. No, but I wish it were.

Information. Yep, especially in the form of books and on the Internet. I literally crave reading information — if I’m cut off from my drug I experience anxiety, irritability, restlessness, and extreme boredom. And just like any other addictive substance, overindulging causes many of the same symptoms!

According to the Kolbe A Index, my natural, instinctive action mode is to gather information. (For those familiar with the Kolbe A, my score is 8 4 6 2.) I just take it too far. Why? It could be that my brain has low endorphin levels, so I’m seeking to boost endorphin through novelty-seeking behavior. I don’t go after just any old piece of information — I go for the new, different, exciting, mind-boggling stuff.

Pushing and pushing my brain could also be a way for me to create stress in order to get a boost from adrenaline. People find all kinds of ways to stress themselves in seemingly innocuous ways to feel good, albeit temporary. It’s not only the obvious thrill-seekers who find ways to create the internal chemistry to feel alive and happy.

I recently found a very interesting site about the possible causes of Internet and television addiction. The man who runs the site, Christopher McPeck, details his intriguing theories, including:

• Internet addiction is caused by hypovolemia (low blood volume).
• Internet addiction is caused by a desire to increase arousal.
• Internet addiction is caused by activities which constantly require central vision.

According to recent blood test results, I have half the amount of blood that I should have to be healthy. So I was quite interested in a possible tie-in to my Internet addiction. Here’s what Christopher writes about hypovolemia:

People with hypovolemia experience light-headedness because of a lack of cerebral blood flow.

People with hypovolemia try to increase their cerebral blood flow, and become more focused, by increasing their blood pressure. This is done by engaging in self-stimulatory activities, such as playing exciting computer games, which can cause the brain to produce more adrenaline.

When fluid levels drop, the brain produces more adrenaline so the heart has to pump more blood to compensate for this.

Along with more adrenaline, self-stimulatory activities cause stress.

This increased stress, possibly accompanied by other stress causing conditions such as hyperacusis or problems with laterality, exacerbates dehydration.

Dehydration exacerbates hypovolemia, and this cycle continues.

Very interesting. I live in Phoenix, one of the driest places in the country, and I’m dehydrated most of the time. (According to health experts, chronic dehydration is a huge problem in the United States. I’ll talk about that in another post.)

So… I need to wrap up this post, get off the Internet, go drink some water, and do something good for my body and brain that doesn’t have a downside. Going for a walk sounds like the ticket.