Get Happy, Be Happy, Stay Happy

Just having some fun with the headline. And grabbing your attention. I mean, who wants to be known as a stupid pessimist? On second thought, don’t answer that!

What I really want to talk about is Ode, the Magazine for Intelligent Optimists. I received a brochure inviting me to send for a free preview issue and a free copy of Touching the Earth, “a relaxation and meditation program recorded by internationally acclaimed Buddhist Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh that will bring new levels of peace and compassion to your life.” Cool! My request is in the mail.

I’ve gotten Ode a couple of times from the bookstore, and I liked it (even though they believe in human-caused global warming and will plant a tree in my name to help reverse the damage when I buy a subscription). But I’m wondering how some people react to their tagline. A magazine for “intelligent optimists.” Are they implying that it’s not a good thing to be a stupid optimist? Or an intelligent pessimist?

I’ve been thinking about such questions lately. Steve Salerno recently wrote a post regarding Randy Pausch, which has elicited some interesting discussion. Steve responded to a commenter, “But let’s even assume that false hope ‘works.’ That’s the question I pose: Reduced to extremes, would you rather be a deliriously happy moron, or an intelligent, right-thinking curmudgeon? That’s what this whole post was about. I’m guessing that many people today would rather be the happy morons, and that’s fine–for them. I’m not so sure it’s fine for society or ‘the human condition,’ if you will.”

Good question. And I have no trouble answering it. If given only these two choices, I’d rather be a deliriously happy moron.

Yes, that raises a bunch of philosophical issues, as Steve notes. But so far, the world that intelligent, supposedly right-thinking human beings have created is wonderful, isn’t it?

I want to experience a world that is set up for well-being and happiness. Isn’t that what we all want? (No, don’t answer that question! I know not everyone wants that.) It’s hard for me to get and stay happy. Apparently I’m not alone. According to French psychiatrist Christophe André, humans are naturally gloomy.

We tend to be naturally gloomy. Melancholy is la condition humaine. Biologically oriented psychologists agree there’s a good evolutionary reason for this. When we were all still hunters and gatherers, a certain degree of concern was useful. It was prudent to remain alert to dangers and problems, which is why we’re geared to focus on the negative. It appears that the Christian church understood this early on: There’s no point looking for happiness on Earth; heaven is where you’ll find it. It is the reason why Sigmund Freud wrote: ‘Happy is not included in the plan of creation.’ It has also been proven that happiness and unhappiness are registered in different parts of the brain.

The good news, of course, is that we can do things to become happy. He says:

It’s hard work but it’s pleasant. You’ve got to put your mind to it. Working on happiness acts as an anti-depressant.

You can spend an evening with friends and only realize once you get home that you had a good time. That means you’ve missed your moments of happiness. You need to realize that there are many opportunities to be happy. You have to realize: This is enjoyable, this is a nice moment, I’m having fun, this is a little bubble of happiness. I know people who have a nice weekend and cannot be happy because on Sunday afternoon they’re already -starting to think about going to work on Monday. And at work they’re thinking they’re not happy because they don’t see their children enough. Those people never have their minds in the present. You have to tell yourself: I’m going to enjoy this for a moment. My child is here and I’m going to stop thinking about my work. I’m emptying my mind and listening to what my child has to say.

This can be learned. The English call it ‘mindfulness.’ Concentrating helps; meditation is very good. It takes hard work every day, but it works. Happiness can be learned. It’s within reach. When I get too nervous, too excited, too eager, then I know I need to rest and take a walk. When I walk, I need to stop occasionally and look around. Look and be open; absorb nature.

Happiness is about the little things. Happiness tends to be calm and peaceful. You don’t jump up and down with happiness, but with joy. Yes, there is such a thing as intense happiness, but it doesn’t happen often in one’s life. Striving toward absolute, huge, oceanic happiness, le bonheur fou, can be discouraging and distract you from little happiness.”

Read the entire article online, courtesy of Ode.